Batgirl Chronicles: B For Batdetta
by niko56
Summary: The first installment to a new series starring Batgirl! 1: When Harley Quinn becomes a psychologist at Gotham State University Barbara knows somethings up, especially when connecting her and a new criminal in a dangerous plot to overthrow the school
1. Something Harley This Way Comes

**Disclaimer: I own none of this shtuff!So get over it!  
**

**I think it's high time someone gave Batgirl her own Fan series! So that is what brings me here today! Enjoy these short Batgirl thrillers-THRILLER- THRILLER-No I keed, but still, this is a good idea.**

**So Enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Starring: Barbara Gordon, Bruce Wayne, Jim Gordon, Cassandra "Cassie" Bullock, Harley Quinn, Brian Sullivan (Vendetta) **

**Co-Starring: Alfred Pennyworth, Harvey Bullock, Prof. Vincent Waller, Tim Drake, Renee Montoya, Hobgoblin, Joker, Poison Ivy, Rocco, Henshaw. **

**Batgirl Chronicles: _B For Bat-detta _**

* * *

A good place to start for our pilot episode, we bring you to Gotham State University, Physiology 101 to be exact, with the always abrasively dry and hopelessly boring Professor Vincent Waller.

Barbara sat half asleep-

[thud]-zzzzzz

-Make that full asleep, on her desk. She didn't get back from her uh...Night shift, until late last night. Of course everything that came out of Professor Waller's mouth was blah-blah-blah anyhow.

"Psst, Barbara."

"Zzzzzzzzzz."

"Barbara...Wakey wakey." Her best friend Cassandra Bullock tried to wake her lest she faces the wrath of Waller.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

"Babs, wake up, Senor Boring possibly cannot go much longer, you're gonna get caught." Cassie warned the sleeping crime fighter

"Ergh...Gdmn...Scrcrw...gt bk hr Crn u...bstrd." she mutered still asleep. Ah a Scarecrow fantasy...that must be weird. Waller turned around and sighed

"Miss Gordon!"

"Ah! The answer is 3=4x-pi!" she woke up and randomly yelled. The class chuckled at her unusual tomfoolery. Or maybe it was the residual drool on her chin.

"Wrong class...yet amusing nonetheless, Riddle me this Barbara." HA! "What happens in Trigonometry when you sleep, do you blurt out July 4th 1776-ha-ha-ha-ha...ha...ha-ha...ha-ahem, never mind." He stopped himself to realize her was the only one laughing.

"Heh-heh, sorry Professor Waller." Barbara blushed

"I've heard it all before." he turned around again "Don't think just because you're the Police Commissioner's daughter that it entitles you to special treatment." Works when shes at Penguin's. "Cause that Hit-And-Run charge was dropped I tell you!" The class looked confused

"Uh, what are you talking about?" Barbara asked

"Forget it." Waller went back to the chalk board. "To reiterate what I was explaining just a moment ago, Friday we will have our end of Semester exam." the class gasped

"WHAT!"

"But...but Professor, the end of the Semester isn't for another three weeks." Cassie complained

"I know...but I also know that you all think my class is a giant snore-fest, so, what better way to motivate you malcontents, then to have exam early." he looked at his watch as the students groaned "Oh goody it's time-[knock-knock-knock]-Class, we have a special guest speaker today." Waller said approaching the door.

"GROOOOOOOOAN" was the giant class response

"Wonder who this buzz-kill's gonna be." Cassie whispered

"Can't be any worse then his mother." Barbara said wit a slight chuckle

"Ha I know."

"Ha-ha, bet he still lives with her." the two shared a laugh

"Now now class please contain your excitement, this special guest today has recently joined the university as a psychologist, and has recently clawed her way into the world of psych, even writing her own self help book."

"Oh great...one of those people." Cassie whispered at a near silence

"Please Welcome-[door opens]-Dr. Harleen Quinzel!"

"HAH!" Barbara's blue eyes went wide at the very sight of one of her biggest foes approaching Waller's desk with a briefcase...which was probably stolen. Her hair was neatly in a bun, with her reading glasses, and she wore very conservative clothing...Ah, it's Mad Love all over again...

"Hello class." she said in a slightly less-than-usual-irritating-tone.

"Hello Doctor Quinzel." Everyone but Barbara said in unison. As if she was the only one who knew. Barbara's eyes narrowed at her.

"Doctor Quinzel is here today to show off her amazing skills in psychology, something you Hooligans ought to learn and fast if you catch my drift." Waller added. Yes he hates kids

"Thank you professor, well where to begin..." Harley pondered

"How bout back at Arkham where you belong." Barbara sneered in a low whisper.

"Oh yes." Harley snapped her fingers. And took a book from her briefcase. "My book. I call it, "Think It-Wish It-Want It-Do It." An excellent read if I do say so myself." Somewhere Brian Griffin is demanding to sue but realizes he doesn't want too cause his book sucked.

For the next 20 minutes Barbara angrily focused on the conservative clothes wearing Clown Princess of Crime. Even snapping her pencil in half with just her thumb. It seemed Harley had everyone fooled but Barbara.

Suddenly the bell rang-

[ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling]-yeah kinda like that.

"Oh poo, just when the conversation was getting good." Harley sighed

"That's quite alright, and what an interesting discussion it was." Waller clapped his hands.

"Well class, if you ever need to vent or simply get something off your chest, my new office is right down the hall, oh-and I insist you all take a free copy of my book, who knows you might learn something."

"And what great studying material it will be, alright you ner-do-wells, get out of here." Waller insisted.

The students each took a copy of Harley's book, all except for Barbara. Waller seemed to notice.

"Miss Gordon." Barbara turned around

"Yes professor?"

"You forgot your book." he said handing one to her.

"Gee, thanks, wouldn't want to forget this." she said oh so sarcastically. Followed by an eye roll. She ran up to Cassie

"Man, that sucked, Waller could give lessons to Hitler."

"Yeah, right." Barbara sighed

"Aw, what's the matter, any Batgirl troubles last night?" FREEZE!

A/N: Cassie knows of Barbara's secret but not of Batman's Robin's or Nightwing's. She is also more or less, a computer genius who can hack anything and guides Barbara i.e. Batgirl through situations in combat. Much of what Barbara is in the comics after Joker crippled her in "The Killing Joke" or like Bruce in Batman Beyond. Alright back to the story.

"No but speaking of which, Cass, do you know who that "doctor" was?" Barbara asked

"No, but why the air quotes around doctor?"

"Cause shes no doctor...Harleen Quinzel is a crazed psycho is better known for her alter ego Harley Quinn." Barbara explained.

"The clown girl?"

"Yup, and I'll bet you shes up to no good."

"Well then miss Detective, why don't you go question her for yourself."

"Good idea." Barbara approached Harley's new office down the hall of which she had just entered.

"Wait, Barbara, I was kidding-ugh, nice going Bullock." she sighed. Oh, I guess it would be helpful to know what Cassandra looks like.

Tanned skinned about Barbara's height with seven dimples above her nose. She has long mocha brown hair down passed her shoulder blades. Usually she wears a T-shirt with a jacket of some kind, with short shorts, and running shoes.

"Wait here Cass, this won't take long." The redhead smirked

"Whatever you do, just don't give up your secret, okay?"

"Come on Cassie, it's me."

"That's what I'm afraid of-[vibrating]-aw great." she looked at her phone "Text from Uncle Harvey."

"That was nice of him to take you in after your parents deaths."

"Yeah I know and I love him I do but...ugh, he is such a slob, but; at least there's always food lying around." Cassie shrugged Barbara shook her head

"Alright I'm going in."

"Good luck Detective."

Barbara stormed into the so called "Doctor's" office, to find Her nemesis diligently typing away at a computer. She looked up from her work, still with a smile.

"Oh hello there."

"Listen up Quinn I know you're up to no good!" Barbara pointed and getting closer.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" she asked innocently

"Don't play innocent with me Harley, I know this "Doctor" thing is just some ruse, and I'm gonna find out what it is...or if I don't, I know of a certain individual who will."

"I still haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about...hmm, say; don't I know you from somewhere?" she asked. Barbara turned a little frightened

"Uh, no I uh...have a familiar face." Harley covered up Barbara's face except for her chin.

"Something about that chin...oh wait I know, you're Barbara Gordon the police commissioner's daughter!"

"Whew...yup, that's me alright, and you mark my words Harley Quinn I'm gonna put a stop to your plan...whatever it maybe...I WILL!"

"Ya know Miss Gordon you could benefit from my book, it will help you."

"Grrrrrrr!" Irritated Barbara stormed from her office. Then Harley put on her trademark evil smile.

"Ha-ha...what a maroon, I'll fool her and the university...soon, very soon." she smirked

**Alright there's chapter 1, tell me what you think PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Somewhat Of A Plot Overview

"**But they share my unique face...Colonel What's-His-Name has chickens, and they don't even have mustaches."**

**-Joker (Mark Hamill) Episode 34: "The Laughing Fish" . . .(I'm gonna miss that laugh)  
**

Barbara stormed angrily out of Harley's office, while an over confident Cassandra was already waiting on her.

"Hey champ, how'd ya make out?"

"Oh, shes up to no good alright." Barbara fumed

"Ya didn't find out anything did you?"

"Not a clue. But, the day is young my partner in crime-fighting, and I'm gonna make the rest of the day dedicated to finding out what Senora Crazy is up to." Barbara assured her friend

"Careful Barb, she is Joker's apprentice after all, and he might just be the smartest criminal mastermind since the Zodiac."

"Harley? Smart? HA! Next thing you'll tell me your uncle lost 50 pounds! Let alone miss lunch." Barbara chuckled

"Ha-ha, speaking of uncle Harvey, in order to make sure he sticks to the mandated diet issued by your old man, I stole all his snacks." Barbara gasped

"Cassie, are you insane! Do you have a death wish!"

"Relax Barbara, he'll never find them, I hid them somewhere so secretive, I barely know about it."

"Where'd ya hide em, our apartment? Under your bed?" Oh by the way, they share an apartment

"S-shut-up, he'll never find him." Cassie assured her

"Cass, he's a detective, this is literally his JOB...and it's FOOD were talking about, he'll be all over that like Mr. Freeze on ice."

"Pshaw-he's pathetic, besides; who can say no to this face." she gave Barbara the puppy dog eyes

"Again, you clearly do not know your uncle and food."

"Ha, you'll see, he'll lose the weight." her phone rang "Speak of the devil-hello-"

"_WHERE'D YA HIDE MY FOOD CASSANDRA!" _Bullock roared

"Told ya."

"Quiet you...Uncle Harvey, how nice of you to call-"

"_Cut da foreplay Cass, all my snacks and munchies have suddenly pulled a Houdini, I know I didn't eat em. And you're too slim to eat em, ergo; YOU STOLE EM!"_

"Are you sure, you have tendencies to eat things and not even realize it."

"_Yeah, I also used ta be 23, 210 pounds and good wit da ladies, but dat ship has sailed as well, now where's my damn FOOD!"_

"You'll never find them uncle Harv, I hid them somewhere soooooo-"

"_Dere under yer bed aren't dey?"_

-...AHHHHHHHH!"

"Told...you...so." Barbara smiled

"_I'm gonna raid yer place till I find em!"_

"Not if I beat you there!" Cassie yelled

"_Oh I'm sorry, is dere a 75% off sale on shoes next door? Have you seen me move when it matters most? Forget about it, and you cry when you're legs chaff after P.E."_

"He's right you do." Barbara agreed.

"Shut-up!" Cassie picked her pace "I'm already running!"

"_Yeah I'm already in my car, suck it!"_

"I'm gonna beat youuuuu!" she ended the call. "I'll see ya later Barb!" she called out

"K...be on your computer, tonight is all about you know who."

Anyway Barbara angrily drove towards Wayne Manor. Muttering to herself how much she hated the idea of how nobody could see right through Harley the way she could...not even Cassandra.

"Alfred! Open up! The dishes can wait 3 measly seconds while you open the door!" ooh she mad... Alfred opened up the door with his usual face.

"Ah Miss Gordon, did someone fail a civics test?" He is such a Bad ass

"Step aside Alfred, I got bigger fish to fry." Barbara stomped right passed him. Alfred followed her

"Likewise, guess what's for dinner?"

"Ooh, fish maybe?"

"Psych, it's actually pork chops, ha-ha-ha." Alfred chuckled

"Very funny Alfred." Barbara rolled her eyes.

"Ugh...He's ruined another one." he groaned

"If you must know my sworn enemy has fooled the whole university into thinking shes some sort of amazing psychologist-HA, she couldn't help Penguin through a bird exhibit if she was a freaking bald eagle." Barbara groaned. The two entered the Batcave.

"Well true Ms. Isley isn't the psychologist type, I'm sure shes pretty helpful in some fields."

"What? No-Alfred, I'm talking about Harley!"

"Since when is Miss Quinn your biggest adversary...or anyone's biggest adversary for that matter." Alfred pondered

"Never mind that..." Barbara got right to the Bat computer, and the computer voice of Richard Moll said-

"_Hello Batman, voice authorization passcode please?"_

"Cripes! I forgot about the passcode, dammit." Barbara fumed.

"Miss Gordon, allow me if you please."

"Well, you can try Alfred but I don't think-"

"Authorization-Kevin Conroy." Alfred said in a very convincing voice.

"_Authorization valid."_

"Ha-ha, damn Alfred."

"Yes, let's see Miss Bullock try that."

"Yeah, who is Kevin Conroy anyhow?"

"I have no idea."

"Anyway...trying to see here if anyone at Arkham knows of her recent escape." Barbara got to typing.

"Well let's not get too hasty, perhaps shes been reformed again." . . .

"Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" the two shared a laugh

"Good one Alfred..." Barbara chuckled "Aha, just as I suspected, escape...Alfred come look at this camera feed from where Harley jumped out the window."

"Well it seems...Egad...The Joker pushed her out..."

"But he didn't go himself, strange."

"Yes, even the Clown Prince of Crime needs a little fresh air every now and again."

"But why would he stay and just let her go...he must be up to something big...something-"

"Or maybe, nothing at all." Barbara was interrupted by the sound of-

"Master Bruce."

"Impersonating me again Alfred?" Bruce asked

"Really sir, it's all too easy."

"From her past, Harley and solo plans don't usually go well...have any long term repercussions...or are even worth carrying out in the long run."

"Exactly, but why become a psychiatrist at the University, she even wrote this lame book and everything." Barbara held up her copy.

"Hmm, I'll analyze the book later." Bruce held it up. "In the meantime, you and Tim can go and see what exactly Quinn might be up to."

"While you...?" Barbara raised an eyebrow

"While I do my usual rounds." Bruce said it like she should have known that already.

"Right...Right...So quick question."

"Yes Barbara?" Bruce asked

"Whose Kevin Conroy?"

"...No comment..."

"Typical." Alfred shook his head.

Anyway we take you back to Harley's office who was diligently typing away at her new, school-funded laptop. When suddenly, a large man who will remain a silhouette for now walked in.

"Miss Quinn."

"Brian, you're early." Harley looked at her watch...in a more usual tone for her.

"So uh...what's this job you need me for again?" he asked

"Simple, I heard from my old pal Jervis, that Wayne Tech is having a 100% off sale of their new experimental mind control microchips at their storage warehouse by the docks." she explained

"And lemme guess, ya want me to make with the five-finger-discount right?"

"Oh you are good. Now I only need 10, but the more the merrier...BUT NO less then 10 got it?"

"No less than 10, got it." Brian assured her,

"Good, this plan is finally coming together." she smirked

"Wait...what if I run into the freakin' Bat?" Harley pondered for a moment

"Eh...I want you...to introduce...a little anarchy." That was for you Heath!

"Can do, don't worry boss, I think Batman will have a little surprise when he gets a fistful of Vendetta."

"Right-Er-Rooney, now get lost and make wit da microchips, I got lame College psychiatrist crap to do, but don't worry Sullivan, they'll get their just desserts."

"Good...good." With that, he left.

"And there won't be a person on Earth who can stop me...Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-he-he-he-he-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Joker has taught you well young Padwan...See this is what happens when Luke Skywalker goes to the dark side.

**TO BE CONTINUED...PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. Score One For The Villains

"**And Here you thought I was just another bubble-headed blonde bimbo, well the jokes on you, I'm not even a real blonde."**

**-Harley Quinn (Arleen Sorkin) Episode 72: "Harlequinade"**

Batgirl and Robin swung their way across the city in an effort to reach the University...Very quickly I might add. Yeah

"Come on Barb, maybe she has changed."

"Sure Tim we can believe that, and hey, while were at it, we can go the North Pole and go find Santa Claus!"

"Well then Miss Abrasive." The two landed on top of the building of Harley's office. "She in there Cass?" How cool is that, microphone and a teeny-tiny camera imbedded in her cowl?

"I'm getting a heat source from inside her office." Cassie said sitting at her computer monitors. "It must be her."

"Good. Robin I'm gonna check and stealthy-like seeing what shes up to."

"Okay...hey wait a minute, then what am I supposed to do?" Robin asked

"I dunno, take a break."

"Whatever." Robin laid on the roof.

Batgirl activated her new suction-cups on her feet and hands, and crawled along the building like Spiderman. (The only good thing Marvel ever came up with).

Anyway, she slipped into Harley's office via and open window. Dumbass. Then crawled along the ceiling of the office.

"Come on you ditz, just need one incriminating phone call." she thought to herself. As luck would have it, her phone rang.

"Hello...Yes this is Doctor Quinzel."

"Tiz iz Octor Minel." Batgirl mocked quietly

"Well Mr. Crawford if you want an appointment, I am free tomorrow at...1:30."

Batgirl noticed her suction-cups were starting to slip.

"Crap." she whispered nervously

"You didn't replace the suction-cups from last time, did you?" Cassie whispered

"Uh...-[flop-thud]" She landed right onto Harley's desk.

"Um...I'm gonna have to call you back." Harley hung up. "Hey, you." Batgirl quickly stood onto the floor in case Harley had anything planned.

"The jig is up Harley, I know all about your sick little games!" she pointed

"What games, I'm sorry Batgirl-I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about."

"Oh don't you play innocent with me you psycho! I know you've escaped from Arkham, and mark my words I will find out everything you're planning."

"You know, has it ever struck you that maybe I've changed?" Harley asked

"HA! Why did Joker suddenly die?"

"Trust me, I've changed...for the better."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-HA! Yeah right, see ya around!" seeing how she checked out, Batgirl went for the window.

"Ya know Batgirl, you could do for some therapy."

"HA! I'm not the one with the psychotic issues."

"...Well you're the only one here in a costume...you know some girl was in here earlier thinking the same way you do." Harley said

"...Smart girl." Batgirl climbed her way out then back to the roof.

"Ha...what a maroon." Harley said getting back to work.

Batgirl climbed to the roof. Waking Robin up from his nap.

"Wake up squirt!"

"Ah-I didn't eat the last cookie Alfred! … Oh...ya find anything?"

"Nah shes clean, for now." ...Roadhouse

"Barbara, I gotta disturbance at Wayne Tech, the storage Warehouse, South Gotham Docks." Cassie said suddenly

"On our way. Look alive Robin, Were heading for the old man's storage warehouse."

"Yay."

The two swung their way towards the docks.

"Ya know I was thinking...There are WAY too many Final Destination movies." Kinda Random Robin, but I do concur.

"I know! There like, making a fifth one now! They should have stopped at one."

Okay because they're conversation is seemingly going nowhere except bashing a surprisingly successful movie franchise, we go to Batman who was ironically searching near the warehouses.

He looked through several with the thermal Bat-noculars. When one caught his eye...It was his.

"Well...that's not right." He noticed several heat signatures inside hastily rifling through various boxes. "Batgirl, Robin?" he called over a private com link

"Were on our way boss." Batgirl assured him

"Oh, alright; good, meet me inside." Batman didn't question their prior knowledge of the situation mostly because he didn't care.

Inside, typical Joker lackeys Rocco and Henshaw were gathering the various materials needed for Harley's "project" But they were nothing compared to the latest costumed fruit loop in Gotham.

**Vendetta.** At least that's what he called himself. Brian Sullivan, 5 year college drop out from Gotham State. His look, well; a younger looking version of Roland Daggett. His costume. Skull like face, black costume, with a V on the front, and no cape.

His gimmick, well; revenge, and well above average human strength, coupled with a very large build. Not Bane huge mind you, but big enough.

Anyway, Batman with the utter most stealth entered through the second floor catwalk.

"Ugh, I can't find a thing in these crates box, they're all empty." Henshaw complained

"Keep looking, they have got to be here somewhere, she was sure of it, remember, experimental stuff here." Vendetta added "Aha found it, Rocco; crowbar me."

"Sure thing."

"Grunt-[smash]" the box opened

"Whoa, there must be at least 30 microchips in here." Rocco commented

"More then twice what we need, Henshaw take the box, were finished here."

"I don't think so."

"Gasp! Batman!"

The dark night leaped into action knocking the crate as well as Vendetta to the floor.

"Get 'im!" Rocco and Henshaw drew handguns

"Ha-[shwing!]" And as the theme song provides, he tossed a baterang which knocked the guns right out of their hands. "Ha, not so-[smash]-unh-[thud]" Vendetta hit him with the box, knocking him nearly unconscious

"Well, I assumed the famed Dark Knight would give us a little challenge, looks like I was wrong." Vendetta smiled

"Don't bet on it creep-o!" Came the voice of Batgirl, who swooped in and gave him a little drop kick, where as Robin knocked Rocco and Henshaw's knuckleheads together.

"Dammit! Who invited the sidekicks?"

"No one, were crashing this party!" Ah, the corny, cheesy sidekick puns.

"Well allow to crash you!" Vendetta grabbed a large metal pole to swing at Robin

"Oh boy-Ha!" Robin jumped onto the pole as it swung right past. Then ran up the pole and kicked him right in da face!

"Aw!"

"Nice going!" Batgirl said after already subduing the other two morons.

"Yeah, not bad for a pipsqueak, huh."

"For a couple a pipsqueaks, your both below average!" Vendetta grunted. He grabbed the box of chips

"He's making a break with the microchips!" Batgirl yelled

"And getting away with it too, a little present from me, Vendetta! ha-[shhhhhhhh]" He tossed down a smoke pellet and made his getaway.

"Crap! And I know this guy has got something to do with Quinn." Batgirl clenched her fist. Suddenly Batman tossed a bat-bolo at Rocco and Henshaw tying them up.

"Hey!"

"What gives!"

"Ah-[thud]"

"Ugh." he rubbed his head "Who...who was that guy?"

"Oh hey boss, nice of you to join us." Robin rolled his eyes, which earned him a bat-glare.

"Vendetta, and I'm sure he has to be working for Harley!"

"Or Mad Hatter, he loves microchips."

"No Robin, why would Mad Hatter want with two Joker henchmen." Batman pointed to Rocco and Henshaw.

"Hey!"

"We have names ya know!"

"Batgirl is right, this has to point to Quinn."

"Call Gordon!" Batgirl ordered

"Who me?" Robin asked

"YES YOU!"

"Okay, okay jeez."

"I'm not sure what shes planning, but we were just over there and she looked clean."

"Appearances aren't all they're cracked up to be, Batgirl, you might be right about what a big plan, of course what it is, I don't know."

**TO BE CONTINUED...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And who is as excited as I am for the up and coming Batman: Dark Knight Rises Film, which opens in exactly...364 days from now! Yeah!**


	4. So, What Now

"**They call me...Yellow Skinned Wacky Man! But I prefer, The Creeper."**

**-The Creeper (Jeff Glen Bennett) Episode: 108 "Beware The Creeper" . . .(Ah Jeff, you and your voices)  
**

**Some of you might be wondering...what will future titles be? Well this might answer your question...Again Reviews and comments AND SUGGESTIONS are always appreciated! :) **

**Episode 2: A Bullet For Batgirl (Tribute to Episode 67: A Bullet For Bullock) **

**Villain: Riddler, Robot Bullock&Robot Montoya Minor: Scarecrow, Catwoman **

**Episode 3: Carnival of Chaos**

**Villain: Joker Minor: Mad Hatter **

**Episode 4: Seeing Double **

**Villain: Two-Face, Batgirl clone**

**Episode 5: Ninjas In The Mist**

**Villain: Derek Li (Shadow-Blade) Minor: Joker&Harley Quinn**

**Episode 6: Almost Got 'er (Tribute to Episode 46: Almost Got 'im) **

**Villain: Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Red Claw, Scarecrow Minor: Two-Face, Joker, Penguin, Riddler**

**Episode 7: Home Alone (Tribute and parody to Episode 13: I've Got Batman In My Basement) **

**Villain: Poison Ivy&Harley Quinn Minor reference: Penguin**

**Episode 8: Why So Serious Catwoman? **

**Villain: Catwoman, Joker**

* * *

The police arrived to tackle Useless and Useless...er. Commissoner Gordon debriefed the team...More like they were the ones debriefing him more or less. Typical.

"Mind Control? Not exactly Harley's cup a tea." Jim pondered

"I know, but this new guy definitely worries me." Batman began-hah-hah "It's possible he's working for Quinn, perhaps to throw us off her trail."

"It has to be...and if it's answers we need, I may know the people who could give them to us." Batgirl had an idea.

"What is it Batgirl?" Gordon asked

"We go to Arkham, then go and grill the only two people who know Harley better then anyone."

"The Joker and Poison Ivy." Batman smirked

"I dunno, they're both not exactly ones who will just willingly give up information." Gordon reminded them

"Oh please, it's Harley." Robin laughed.

"It may be the only leads we'll get right now Jim." Batman insisted

"Alright we'll go, if Quinn is behind this, which I doubt, we'll find out there." Gordon shrugged

"Robin stay here with the police and help them gather evidence with Detective Bullock." Batman insisted

"What, why!"

"I didn't ask to play 20 questions."

"Ugh...fine. Say, where is his fatness anyhow?"

**CUTSCENE...**

Cassie was busy looking over the monitors for Vendetta when she heard the loudest disgruntled knock at the front door to the apartment.

[POUND POUND POUND]

"CASSANDRA!"

"Crap!"

"Yeah I know yer in dere! Told ya I was on my way!"

Cassie frantically pressed the hide button which turned her command center of a room into an ordinary room and grabbed the food from under her bed

"You'll never get this food!"

"Da hell I won't! Dats MY food ya here me, MINE!"

"No it's bad for you!"

"But it tastes so good! I'm gonna bust down da door!"

"You need a warrant!"

"You're my niece!"

"Still need a warrant!" Cassie was just stalling for time

"Like you'll sue yer uncle, alright I'll just pick da lock!"

"Aw man, where can I hide his food...[snap]-I got it." She turned her room back to the command center and stuffed his food there, then changed her room back just as Bullock stormed into the apartment.

"Cass!" Cassie exited her room, with an innocent smile

"Uncle Harvey, so nice to see you, what a pleasant surprise-"

"Can it Cass, where's my food?" Bullock asked

"Food, what food, I have no idea what you're-"

"You was just saying I'll never get it, you know where it is, now where!"

"Fine! Go ahead and look!"

"Ya know what I will." Harvey went to searching

"Ugh, you're on your own tonight Barb." she said to herself.

**AND WERE BACK...**

The three entered Arkham, with Batgirl ready to pounce. Man she really hates Harley. Anyway they stormed into the rec room.

"Alright, where are they!" she asked

"Well look what the bat dragged in-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah." Joker chuckled "No one said there'd be a party, and me without my best tux."

"Can it clown, I want answers!" Batgirl fumed right in front of his face.

"Someones having her period?" came the other voice they came for

"Ivy, you'll be first." she walked over towards her.

"She really must hate Harley." Gordon whisperd to Batman

"Makes sense."

"Alright Pammie, spill." Batgirl ordered.

"Spill what?" she asked. Batgirl grabbed her by the collar

"You know what, Harley, what's she planning?"

"Could be any number of things, taking over the city, knocking off a novelty store, winning a giant Teddy Bear at the Carnival."

"Sigh, she was always a cheap date." Joker sighed "Never did win that big Teddy though, quite tragic."

"So you have no clue what shes planning?"

"All I know is she was muttering something about the university and how much she hated them." Ivy explained

"Have you dipsticks ever consider questioning old Crane?" Joker asked

"Scarecrow hasn't been disturbed for months now." Gordon explained

"So that's all you know Ivy?"

"Well I know Harley is bisexual, a lousy therapist-"

"Yeah, that's no surprise." Batgirl interrupted

"Obsessed with that sad excuse for a clown over there."

"Who me? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, oh Pammie I love you too." Joker chuckled

"Crazy." Ivy sneered

"I know you are but what am I, hah-hah." Ah, Joker's Wild was a good episode.

Alright Mr. Happy, start explaining-Wait, Harley is bisexual?" Batgirl stopped mid sentence to turn back to Ivy.

"Yup."

"Did you know about this?" she asked Batman

"When you fall for the Joker, anything is possible."

"Ah batzy, as usual you hit the nail, right on the head."

"How did you find out?" Batgirl asked

"Well it might have been the Playboy magazines she kept under her bed...or perhaps the time she slapped my ass."

"So, lots of girls do that."

"And then made out with me."

"Gross, alright Joker, I want answers!"

"Alright, the capital of Sweden is Stockholm, 2+2=4, The process of gas turning into a liquid is conden-"

"Not those answers dammit, about Harley!" Batgirl fumed

"Batgirl, you won't get inside Joker's head that easily." Batman interjected

"Lord knows we all tried." Ivy whispered

"Don't you know when you're being ignored?" Gordon asked

"Joker, I know Harley can be annoying-"

"Ha! Try living with her! Oh Mistah J lets go for a walk in the park, Oh Puddin' let's bake some cookies-I Told her never to call me that, thought I made that perfectly clear when pushed that wench out that window. Look Bats, Commissioner, even if I did know what Harley was doing-and I don't, if you caught her, that would only put her back here in Arkham, so I'll have to listen to that annoying shriek." No offense Arleen. Batgirl smiled

"Well thank you Joker, I think we have everything we need here."

"What, but Batgirl-"

"No-no, trust me, I have everything I need, if you need me, I will be relishing in my success, good day gentlemen." she happily skipped outside. Gordon shook his head.

"There goes one strange woman, I sure feel sorry for the poor sap who had to raise her." Batman smirked briefly

"You have no idea Jim."

Batgirl waited patiently in the Batmobile.

"What took ya?" she asked

"Barbara, what did you mean when you said, you have everything you need?" Batman asked

"Trust me, everything will fall into place tomorrow at Harley's big press event for her stupid book where, she will unveil whatever plot shes cooked up in her so called mind, I heard about the event from Professor Waller."

"So...?"

"Just make sure Bruce Wayne makes an appearance at her little debacle, and we can cook up our own devious plan." Batgirl smiled

"You scare me sometimes you know that?"

I know Bruce...I know."

**To Be Continued...PLEASE REVIEW! **


	5. Some Flaws In The Grand Design

"**No way, the second I laid eyes on Pam the love hit me right in the face...-[thud]" . . . (And So Will The Moose)  
**

**Harvey Dent (Richard Moll) Episode 5: "Pretty Poison" **

Barbara changed into her street clothes on the roof of her apartment. She then proceeded to skip merrily to hers thinking about her perfect plan to both humiliate and foil Harley.

Then she saw the state of their ransacked apartment and that became the first thing on her crime fighting mind.

"Uh...Cass?"

"Hey." she saw a disappointed Cassie sitting on the couch

"Lemme guess-"

"That's it Cass, I've looked-Hey Babs-I've looked everywhere trew dis place and came up wit nada, now where's my damn food!"

"...You disappoint me uncle Harvey." Cassie shook her head

"Alright Cass, I'll do whateva you want, just gimme my stuff!"

"Sorry Bullock but I agree, you're kind of addicted." Barbara agreed

"Alright, I'll tell ya what, I'll do Gordon's little excersise program and enjoy my junk food in moderation if you gimme some now, cause dammit I need my powder doughnut fix!"

"Now that's what I want to hear, see the Twinkie uncle Harvey?" Cassie held up a wrapped a Twinkie

"Yeah I see em."

"Well...Go fetch!" she tossed them out the open window

"WHA-Murdera!" he yelled sprinting to the hallway

"Use the stairs."

"Don't have to tell me twice!" he was out of earshot. Barbara closed the door.

"I doubt they survived the 18 floor fall to the ground."

"That's the idea, and he'll never realize it until it's too late." Cassie smiled

"You little devil."

"So that's one problem solved, what are ya gonna do about Miss Happy?"

"Oh I got that completely under control, everything will fall into place tomorrow at her big important press event tomorrow down on the football field." Barbara smirked

"You sure about that?"

"As sure as my names Barbara Gordon...Speaking of which, you weren't much help after the warehouse incident, had to deal with that all evening, thank you very much."

"Sorry, had to hide the goods, they're in the command center."

"You naughty genius girl, you sure your uncle will go for this?"

"Oh yeah, speaking of which." Cassie looked out the window to see Bullock crying over the loss of his beloved Twinkies. "Ah the sweet, sweet smell of success...speaking of which, I deserve a reward, of the powdered doughnut variety." she ran off towards her room

"I could go for some of that!" Barbara called.

Meanwhile back at the Batcave, Batman had just returned home along with Robin. While Alfred was busy compiling the date over Harley's dumb-old book.

"What's cracking Alfred?" Tim asked taking off his mask

"I do wish you would speak in proper English Master Timothy." Alfred said not looking up from his work.

"What did you find." Batman asked

"Unfortunately, this book is more than just an over sized paper weight."

"What do you mean?"

"Take a look at the cover." Batman picked up the book and studied it. "The cover...it's a giant microchip...Much like what the Mad Hatter uses."

"Precisely, however, this particular chip cannot be activated unless 10 different silicon chips are used to broadcast the mind control inside ones like this...much like-"

"The ones stolen from my warehouse earlier this evening, great-Just great!" Bruce threw off his cowl in anger. "Who knows what Harley will do with all that power."

"Here's hoping Barbara's plan is worth the crazy it's printed on."

"Oh Tim that pathetic metaphor and street slang just reminded me about your dwindling English grade."

"Whoops, would you look at that, it's passed my bedtime." Tim sprinted upstairs.

"I thought he received a B+ in English this quarter sir?"

"No, he brought home Drake Timm's Report Card by mistake...at least, I think it was a mistake."

And last but not least, we bring you back to Harley's office, who was just putting the finishing touches on tomorrow's schedule.

"Let's see here...8:30, wake up...8:45, shower...9:00 apply first layer of make up...10:15, eat a light breakfast...noon begin big speech 12:03 take over their feeble little minds...12:04 change into costume, 12:05 laugh maniacally, ooh wouldn't want to forget that, 12:33 claim school, it's brilliant...And print." Suddenly her office door flung open

"Hey Boss, I'm back."

"Brian, excellent, you got the chips?"

"Only like 30, here you are."

"Perfect, by tomorrow at...12:05, this school will be ours!" Harley clenched her fist

"Excellent, they'll pay for kicking me out and...why do you hate them exactly boss?" Vendetta asked

"Simple, they always thought I was a hack, a manipulate, a wash-out...and, most of that's true, however the point is...I'm really doing this for my dear puddin'. To prove how awesome of a supervillain I really am."

She picked up a picture of the two of them, it was her favorite. Harley was in full costume and giving Joker a big old I-love-you-so-much bear hug. And Joker by the looks of his frown wanted none of that, as usual. But to Harley, it was true Mad, Love.

"Boss...Boss...BOSS!"

"Huh-what, oh Brian you're still here, uh...look just make sure you're at the press box in the football field tomorrow with these, I made a colorful list of instructions."

"I know...it's on pink paper."

"Yeah I know, isn't festive?" Harley asked

"Yeah...I'm out of here, see ya tomorrow boss." With that, Vendetta was out the door.

"It's okay Mistah J, he doesn't understand you like I do, none of them do, and when I'm through tomorrow, no one will ever get between us again, soon the whole city will be mine er-ours, you the King, and me at your side always and forever, and I'll never let you go, never...NEVER! Never again, and you and I will finally be happy together, just like you always wanted- eh-he-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-AHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

That's right Sports fans she is in fact having an orgasm with a picture, and now (for some strange reason) here's Cleveland Brown with a reaction, Cleveland?

"Oh she crazy."

"Thank you Cleveland, now for tomorrow...Harley's big press event was a packed one. Anyone who thought they were anyone was there, from Commissioner Gordon, To Bruce Wayne

"Aw, Bruce, how am I supposed to enjoy my teacher in-service day off from school if were only going to another one?" Tim groaned, the two took to their seats.

"I was told to make a guest appearance today for the you-know-what." Bruce said in his public Bruce voice.

"Since when does she make the rules?"

"Look Tim, whatever Harley is planning, it would be today, after all; this is all about her-"

"Bruce."

"Commissioner Gordon, what brings you to this abortion-I mean press event?" Here come the angry PM's... (I am against abortion)

"Well the fact that it's all about Joker's little Stinker makes me a tad completely suspicious, but she seems to be sane to me."

"Well we'll see won't we-"

"Just a few more feet uncle Harvey, and there." Came Cassie's voice.

Bullock was out of breath and wearing a track suit with sweat bands.

"Bullock did you...did you run all the way here?" Gordon asked

"He sure did." Cassie said proudly

"Well it's nice to see you're following my workout regimen."

"Great-Cass, reward now." Bullock ordered

"Here you are uncle Harv, a well deserved bag of Doritos."

"Oh-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes." Cassie went searching for Barbara.

"Babs...Barbara?"

"Cass, over here." Batgirl called her over from under the bleachers.

"Okay boss, what's my job?"

"The press box, go in there and sabotage the microchips, I'll be doing what I do best."

"Yeah, all the fun stuff, but; it's good to be part of the...team." she looked up to see she had disappeared.

"They could all put Houdini to shame."

Harley then appeared on the stage, while professor Waller introduced her.

"Gotham State University, it is with great pleasure that I formally introduce to you Doctor Harleen Quinzel!" the stadium applauded, Batgirl rolled her eyes.

"Thank you professor Waller, well what can I say, everyone has their own brand of craziness, I mean look at me." laughs filled the stadium. "Which is why I have-blah-blah-blah."

We now cut from that debacle to the press box where Vendetta had stepped out after setting everything up. Cassandra moved in

"Well hello there microchips, you're about to be sabotaged..." she moved in . . .I miss the Beastie Boys. "Just got to disrupt these wires here and-"

"You're all done right?"

"Yes actually-oh...crap." she turned to see Vendetta at the doorway, smirking "Oh boy." he grabbed Cassie by her collar.

"No way Girlie, you ain't screwing this up." he quickly gagged and tied her to a chair. And went to the controls. "And now you get to sit back and watch as the university becomes out obedient slaves, hah-hah-hah-hah." Now back to the speech.

"Which brings me to my new book, "Think-It-Wish-It-Want-It-Do-It" you'll all find a free copy underneath your seats." everyone opened up their book

"Ow." Bruce slapped Tim's out of his hand

"Mind control remember?" he whispered

"Oh right, I forgot."

"And now...here...we...GO!"

"And that's the signal." Vendetta activated the microchips and whoever held the book instantly became a zombie.

"Ha!" Harley did a few quick twirls and changed into her Harlequin outfit. "Now you're all my meat puppets, ha-ha-HA!"

"I don't think so!" Batgirl leaped onto the stage.

"Oh, look who decided to show."

"The jig is up Harley, I know all about what's going on here!"

"Ha, well you're too late Batgirl, everyone here is under MY control!"

"Oh really, as we speak, one of my associates is currently sabotaging your plan, which should be complete...now...uh...now...NOW!"

"Uh, ya might wanna take another look." Harley pointed to the press box with Vendetta waving.

"Aw crap, well time for plan B." she also noticed Bruce and Tim were nowhere to be found. She took out her Bat-Tape recorder.

"Why'dja do it Harley, was it for the power, was it revenge?"

"All that and more, it was really to show Mistah J how much of a capable villain I am, so maybe he'll think of me more of a good partner."

"Well that explains him pushing you out the window...and so will these messages."

"Messages, what messages?"

"These, I was at the Asylum last night, your friends had some interesting things to say about you...like Poison Ivy for example."

"Red? Shes my best friend, she could never betray m-"

"_I know Harley's bisexual, a lousy therapist-All I know is she was muttering something about the university." _Came the playback from the night before. She felt heart broken.

"But-but Red, she...she narked...and...said my most deepest and darkest secret." tears filled her eyes "She pinky swore!"

"Ah, the price of loyalty...which was free in my book."

"HA-well nerts to you little miss Smarty Bat, I'm sure my puddin' had nothing to say."

"Nothing...positive."

_"Ha! Try living with her! Oh Mistah J lets go for a walk in the park, Oh Puddin' let's bake some cookies-I Told her never to call me that, thought I made that perfectly clear when pushed that wench out that window. Look Bats, Commissioner, even if I did know what Harley was doing-and I don't, if you caught her, that would only put her back here in Arkham, so I'll have to listen to that annoying shriek." _

Harley welled up.

"He...he was...serious..."

"Now you see, he used you, Ivy used you...you're no villain, your one giant annoyance in a skin tight Halloween costume." That did it

"FINE! I can't believe it, Joker betrayed me, Red betrayed me...Well fine, if that's how it's gonna be, might as well show Gotham my true side." she got closer. "Were getting back to basics." she grabbed batgirl. Who was surprised as hell.

"What the-"

"PUCKER UP BRATGIRL!" and to the zombies' surprises, Harley went right for Batgirl's lips.

That was for you kyrogue23!

**TO BE CONTINUED...PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And please enjoy this theatrical trailer...**

_**Next time on The Batgirl Chronicles**_

_**When Bruce Wayne goes on Vacation...**_

**Bruce: I'll only be gone for a week, the two of you can handle things while I'm gone, right?**

**Barbara: of course**

**Tim: definitely.**

_**Things turn sour for our detectives**_

**Batgirl: Commissioner?**

**Robot Bullock: No bats, just us...**

_**They get locked up**_

**Tim: great, once they unmask us, were donezo!**

**Riddler: Hello my dear detectives.**

**Both: RIDDLER!**

_**It becomes a race against the clock**_

**Riddler: allow me to bring you up to speed, I have the real Bullock and Montoya, and if you wanna live just as much as they want to, you'll do exactly as I say, comprende?**

_**A chase through Gotham, The law**_

**Robot Montoya: FREEZE!**

_**Verses the Bats**_

**Batgirl: quick, in here**

_**Who will win?**_

**Robot Bullock: it's all over now, freaks.**

**Cassandra: Barbara I think I now how to solve the Riddle!**

_**And who can help them**_

**Tim: Hey Dick, how's New York?**

_**Don't miss The Batgirl Chronicles Next Time on Fan Fiction  
**_

**Batgirl: It's over Riddler.**

**Riddler: oh no-no dear Batgirl, it's only the beginning...**


	6. So, Zombs Anyone?

"**I'm crazy enough to take on Batman but the IRS, Nooooooooo thank you!"**

**-Joker (Mark Hamill) Episode 92: "Joker's Millions"**

**Now for our final chapter in this story, enjoy and REVIEW!**

The kiss lasted longer than my second marriage...Nah I keed, I keed, but it was still long...Sexy, but long

"Muuuuuuuuuuwah!" Harley finally released "I've wanted to do that for so long! I'm gonna give you a moment to let that sink in."

**One moment later...**

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

"Yeah Mistah J says that too...there goes my heart. But no matter, I'll still have this city, and it'll be all mine!"

"Ahem!"

"Oh, and Vendetta's." Harley then took out a Joker-grenade (Now with 20% more boom) and her obnoxiously giant-ass revolver that fires various large cliche novelty items. "Now that I got what I wanted, you're expendable-[plink]" she pulled the pin

"Oh boy." Barbara ducked out of the way

KA-BOOM.

In the midst of that cliche distraction, Harley dashed from the stage getting a head start

"Get back here!" Batgirl regained herself and chased after her.

The two leaped off the stage and onto the field. Batgirl got Harley by the arm

"Gotcha!"

"You forget Batzy, I have my slaves on my side...oh zombies...sick her."

"Yes master." they all groaned in unison, and approached Batgirl.

"Oh boy."

"See, funny thing about zombies, they like to attack in numbers." Harley smiled

"You don't say." Batgirl backed away. As the zombies approached.

"Well I've had enough fun for one day, byeeeeeeee!" Harley skipped away.

"Oh no you don't, zombies or no zombies I'm still kickin' your ass!" Batgirl chased after her.

Meanwhile inside the booth, Vendetta was admiring the zombie success.

"Excellent, there's one way to start an epidemic." he turned to Cassie. "And now my dear, the question is, what to do with you?"

"How bout letting her go?" came the just in time voice of-

"You again?" No stupid, Batman.

"Let her go Vendetta, it's me you want."

"Actually, it's Batgirl I want, ya see, this wasn't just for Harley, in fact, shes in on it too, someone wants her rubbed out."

"Who?"

"I dunno, some schmo from New York, calls himself Hobgoblin, or some weird name like that, a costume type like us."

"Interesting, too bad it won't happen-ugh!"

"Ergh!" Batman threw a surprise sucker punch at Vendetta to throw him off. Cassie gave it the old college try at getting free. While Robin was trying his best at switching off the microchips.

"Robin! The microchips!" Batman yelled

"What do you think I'm doing!"

And now we return you to the star of the show. Batgirl had chased Harley into the dark main auditorium. She switched to thermal scan on her optics and checked under every seat.

"You dunno when to quit do you?" Batgirl scanned around to find the voice.

"Give up Harley, Batman and Robin will destroy the microchip station I'm sure of it!"

"Give up...Give up...eh, not in my vocabulary."

"Nor mine."

"You were always a persistent little bugger Batgirl. Too bad it won't last."

"Oh blah, blah, blah Harley."

"You see, some Costume nut even nuttier then Mistah J has put a very large billion dollar hit out on you."

"You're stalling!"

"I'm serious, names Hobgoblin, ever hear of him?"

"Stalliiiiiiiiiiing."

"He's some gruesome looking loon from Manhattan, not sure what he wants with you per-say, but money is money, see I was hoping you would come and mess up my plan, I felt kinda like old Harvey, a double motive, I prove to Joker that I am an amazing villain; which I realize by now was a complete waste of time, and you get captured and brought to that guy, pretty clever huh?"

"Yeah, till I realized YOU were the one carrying it out."

"ERRRRGH!" Harley was fuming

"What's the matter Harl, somewone getting angwy wit me?" Batgirl said in baby speak. Suddenly the lights turned on. And Harley was right in front of her...quite angwy I might add.

"No more Mrs. Nice Guy! I'm sick and tired of people ruining my fun, putting me down, yelling at me, arresting me, shoot me, run me over, and blow me up!" this was followed with a few kicks, which Batgirl dodged

"Easy does it Harl-ha!" she tied her up with a bat-bolo. "Don't get up I'll just-AHHH!" The zombie mob caught up to them and grabbed Batgirl. Harley laid on the floor, slightly in triumph.

"Ah, gotta love zombies." she managed to free herself and stand up.

And now we go back to the booth

"Ugh-[thud]" Vendetta held Batman against the floor. "Robin." he sneered teeth grit

"Hold on Batman just a few more...and they're gone!" Robin disabled the microchips.

"NOOOO!" Vendetta yelled. He then heard the cracking of bat-cuffs around his wrists.

"Yes." Batman added. Robin untied a very terrified Cassie.

"It's okay." he assured her

"No, Batgirl, shes in danger!" Cassie yelled

"I don't think so."

"Not after Robin disabled the microchips, Harley's little zombie army will be quite under control." Batman added.

And now back to Harley and Batgirl.

"Ya know I'm not familiar with Nazi Zombies, but I'm sure they like to scratch!"

"I really don't wanna find out."

"Well then I'm afraid-ah, oh no!" Harley noticed the zombies condition return to normal.

"What?"

"What happened?"

"Where am I?" they quickly put 2 and 2 together and starred angrily at the Clown Princess of Crime.

"H-h-h-hey party people...enjoy the book...no, well, I'll just be making a stage left exi-[oof]" she turned to run but ran straight into a brick wall, and by brick wall, I mean Bullock.

"Not so fast little hench wench." he said. Batgirl dangled a pair of bat-cuffs in front of her.

Now we cut scene to the outside where Vendetta and Harley were put into separate transports.

"Get her back to Arkham already." one officer said.

"Alright boys were all set here." another said. The transports drove away.

"What did I miss?" Montoya asked stepping out of her car.

"Oh, the usual nonsense." Batgirl chuckled

"Harley tried to take over the university to impress Joker." Batman explained

"But thanks to Batgirl's ingenuity, I don't think he'll be happy to see her when she gets there." Gordon added.

"Interesting, hey; where's Harvey?" Montoya asked

"Right here." Bullock said completely out of breath.

"Bullock, you're out of breath I see." she said

"Yeah...I just ran around da whole place twice...dats worth...like, a box a donuts! Where's Cass?" Bullock said "Cass...Cassie?"

Now to Harley's transport. Where she was chained up in. She thought she was alone...well, thought.

"Ya know...you disappoint me Quinn." came the sinister voice of-

"H-Hobgoblin?"

"That's right, I saw yours and Sullivan's handiwork...zombies? Really? What is this 2009?"

"I wasn't really trying to get bat-brat, I said if I could-"

"And you couldn't, typical; I'll just take my business and my 1 billion dollars elsewhere, there's plenty of rogues in this city for me to exploit, you were hardly even the tip of the iceberg."

"Save it Gruesome, I'm not in the mood."

"I see that, well; I think I'll try my hand with Nygma, he's gotta brain on him. See ya around Quinn, oh and uh...tell Joker I said, hey." suddenly Hobgoblin disappeared without a trace.

"Oh, I'll be telling him things alright."

And now we cut to the rec room in Arkham, where Joker and Ivy were waiting on Harley's return as they actually watch the news. Suddenly the door flies open

"WHERE ARE THEY!" she fumed

"Nyaaaah!" the two startled villains backed away

"Harley, uh, nice to see you again bestie-"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" she yelled at Ivy

"Yes ma'am."

I'll deal with you later Red, whilst I have a little talk with my puddin'"

"Ha-ha, Harley, baby, sweetie, pumpkin-pie-"

"Save it Clown, I heard you said, after all I did for you, after all the abuse, I can't believe you would ever-EVER-"

"Harley listen, uh...Batgirl...tricked us." Ivy defended

"T-tricked you?"

"Yeah-yeah, that's it, tricked us, were really sorry poo, we would never really betray you." Joker added

"You mean you guys...really do care?" the ditzy moron smiled "Aw come here, I can't stay mad at either one of you, group hug." she brought them both in close.

"Whew that was close." Joker and Ivy whispered together.

**(Hey kids, if you can guess who Hobgoblin really is, drop me a line)**

**Here's your first clue: Of whom you'd least expect...**

**Thanx For Viewing. Join us next time for episode 2: A Bullet For Batgirl! Special Guest appearances by Loren Lester and Christopher Daniel Barnes. **

**CREDIT ROLL **

**Created by: **Nick Durdan

**Directed by: **Bruce W. Timm

**Written by: **Nick Durdan

**Teleplay: **Paul Dini, Rich Fogel

**Executive Producers: **Paul Dini, Eric Radomski

**Supervisory Producers: **Dan Riba, Alan Burnett

**Produced By: **Kevin Altieri

**Storyboard Director: **Glen Murakami

**Casting and Voice Direction: **Andrea Romano

**Starring the voice talents of...**

**Tara Strong as **Barbara Gordon/Batgirl

**Jennifer Hale as **Cassandra "Cassie" Bullock

**Kevin Conroy as **Bruce Wayne/Batman, random guy

**Eli Marenthal as **Tim Drake/Robin

**Bob Hastings as **Commissioner Jim Gordon

**Robert Costanzo as **Detective Harvey Bullock, Rocco

**Sean Connery as **Alfred Pennyworth (**I wish**...And let's face it, Efrem Zimbalist Jr. is what, 90?)

**Guest starring...**

**Arleen Sorkin as **Harley Quinn

**John DiMaggio as **Brian Sullivan/Vendetta, Henshaw

**Mark Hamill as **Joker, Hobgoblin

**Diane Pershing as **Poison Ivy

**Dee Bradley Baker as **Prof. Vincent Waller, classmate, various

**Liane Schirmer as **Detective Renee Montoya

**Tom Kenny as** time passing narrator, various police

**Batman created by Bob Kane**

**Hobgoblin is a registered trademark of Marvel Comics. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


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